I had been saving like crazy,
For two years.
The odometer on my little red car neared 150k miles, ushering in a new era of one annoying mechanical problem after another. It rang clear this car wasn’t going to last much longer without major expense.
My son, the genius-at-finding-bargains-on-Craig’s-list, volunteered for the task. “Find me an older, low mileage mid-sized SUV in my price range. I need to haul all my bazillion fabric samples and pick up clients’ paintings and small furniture pieces. That’s not too much to ask is it?” He grinned and said he’d work on it.
It took him a while, but within six weeks he found the perfect-for-me car.
When he swung into the driveway it was love at first sight. I’d never had a black vehicle before and while I saw the pitfalls of upkeep on that color, I was smitten. Sorry if I gush over something so trivial as a car. It was old, but pristine, and had so many bells and whistles it took Luke fifteen minutes to explain them to me. And then I promptly forgot half of it.
Three months later my mouth dropped in disbelief when the Insurance adjustor slammed me with, “Mrs. Johns, we are going to total your vehicle.”
How. Can. That. Be?
The young girl who smashed me in the parking lot wasn’t going that fast was she? She apologized again and again that she never saw me. Yes she crushed the side panel and also got the rear bumper in her haste. And I guess there was the debris trail of lights laying in the road, oh and the remnants of trim and a bit of damage to the wheel well. So there’s that.
But it drove fine. And it looked perfect on two sides. Only the passenger side and rear looked a bit messy. Ok fine, a lot messy.
And I think of Ananias and Sapphira. They looked good from all views,
The one that really mattered.
They sounded good, they said all the right things, in their shriveled deceitful hearts they wanted to be admired, respected and revered for their unselfish generosity.
But God revealed their wreckage. And totaled them dead. On the spot. Bam. Acts 5:1-11
And The Rich Young Ruler looked like a perfect replica of a Godly man.
But God exposed his wreckage.
And gave him a choice.
A chance to live full repaired.
“Give all your riches to the poor and come follow me.” But he turned sorrowful, clutching his wealth-made shambles like the security blanket it was. Luke 18:18-24
And I display unthinking my wreckage daily. My pettiness, my snide remarks, my uncharitable thoughts. And yes I try to be kind and generous and encouraging, but the dark crash sites multiply over time, a ribbon of ugly unfurling behind me.
Yet with love he pours his mercy bold, and drenches me soaked with lovingkindness, Lifting me from my rubble, despite myself. Giving me a holy life.
And I remember hard,
“He has saved us and called us to a holy life—not because of anything we have done but because of his own purpose and grace. This grace was given in Christ Jesus before the beginning of time…” 2 Timothy 1:9