I perched tall on the cushioned pew, trying to focus, warbling a hymn of love. The cross projected heroic on the screen, pierced my heart while I gazed silent rapt.
Then a phone Brrrrings blatant.
And a baby cries.
And I smile as the young mother in front of me grabs her toddler by the back of his shirt before he scoots under the bench wild.
So there’s that…
And I am gone,
Winding my way lost in another mind tangent, daydreaming, thinking about lunch plans, stewing over work tomorrow and my ever present to-do list.
And the communion tray passes into my hands. Cold and heavy, filled with purple, it jerks me back to the present.
To the reason for the quiet.
To the reason for my life.
Guilty, I bow my head chagrined and pray. I pray for forgiveness, I pray for my fellowman, I thank God for the sacrifice of his only son,
The beloved one,
The selfless one,
My Lord and Savior.
Why is it so hard to remember?
When all I have is abundance,
And the blessings pour over me bountiful,
Because of him.
Why am I so distracted?
In this world that runs a mile a minute,
And spins crazy like a tilt-a-whirl in a carnival.
Why can’t I focus for five minutes and be still and relax into his arms of peace and rest.
Like a hamster on a wheel I scurry and hurry and chase endless circles of repetition,
Day after day.
And I am thankful, thankful, thankful that he loves me despite my wandering mind,
That he thinks I am beautiful and wonderful.
And he knows my heart raw and my love true for him. Even in my absentminded funk, he knows that I want to be deep grateful always.
Even when I forget.
I am forgiven.
And each day I vow bold to do better,
Secure in the knowledge he won’t abandon me to my mess.
So let’s do this together!
Three things to help when you are worried about your focus:
1. Memorize this scripture for comfort:
Search me, God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.
2. Write it down and tape it to your bathroom mirror— pray it daily for encouragement.
3. Open your bible and read these words for reassurance:
You have searched me LORD and you know me.
You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.
Before a word is on my tongue
you, Lord, know it completely.
You hem me in behind and before,
and you lay your hand upon me. Psalm 139:1-5
YOU ARE LOVED ETERNAL.
His hand rests gentle on you like a loving Father with his unsteady toddler, leading, nudging, guiding us daily.
Encouraging us to walk brave.
Yet NEVER leaving our side,
Not for one minute,
Or one blink of an eye.
-What is your biggest challenge when trying to focus on God?
-Share what helps you focus.