Are you kidding me?? Me who lives careful about where I go and who I go near because of the littles and elder folk I love—and wear my mask and avoid busy places and sanitize 10x a day. And now they tell me I have a serious condition and need to be transported into a hotspot of the pandemic—as soon as they can find me a bed.
I was in too much pain to freak out, but a long convo with God ensued as the slamming of the ambulance doors sealed my fate. And with that bang, I found myself delivered into lockdown from friends and family for five days. But on the bright side, those long days offered a platter full of reflection time with an overflowing cup of empathy for those locked down much longer than my meager time.
Life often offers up a cold plate of the unexpected. As a human species, we experience life with circumstances unique to ourselves, depending on where we live, where we work, and what our family dynamics entail. But for today, from pandemic to rioting and mass unemployment, worldwide we hunker at the same dining table of unease.
A soup of uncertainty parks at our place setting—filled to the brim with questions of what flavor the next weeks and months will bring. And in a cruel twist, in addition to navigating the pandemic, the cloth of good health was stripped from my well-ordered table.
“The events at the edge of our humanness, the events that threaten and disrupt our convenient equilibrium, are the same ones that may fill us with passion and evoke eloquence in us. Psalms reflect such passionate and eloquent events that occur when experience presses us to address the Holy One.” Walter Brueggeman
So as we each deal with our own crisis’ and falter for words, we can turn to the Psalms to find a new way to pray and express our longings to God. I reflect on how David poured out his heart, and as the Psalms, our constant teacher illuminates the way– I write…
When I can’t see what you are doing
When silence abounds
And darkness falls thick—
I remember the waters you parted and the seas you stilled for me.
I know you don’t fail
I know you well and know all is well though life’s foundations tremble
So I praise you in the valleys like I praise you on the mountaintops.
When the day is dim and the future but gray mist
You dwell with me in the always
You never remove the embrace of your steadfast love.
I hold you in my heart
I remember how you drew me out of murky darkness
And turned me toward your light.
As my plans flounder, you always come through
Though I’ve doubted and feared and lashed out
You’ve never failed me
You’ve written a beautiful story for me
And I cling to your promises
Whatever the shadowy future may bring
I know you don’t fail.
And now that my trauma is spent and I relax on the porch and drink in the glory of nature, I realize how tenuous life is. A simple procedure nowadays—life-threatening a hundred years ago. Funny how clarity sparkles like a spotted water glass now transformed by a dose of vinegar. Trials make us stronger and give us a chance to solidify our faith.
I love the wisdom of Walter Brueggeman, “The Psalms offer speech when life has gone beyond our frail efforts to control it”
So when you have no words, pray this Psalm with me and believe in it’s power and promise for your life:
O God, listen to my cry! Hear my prayer!
From the ends of the earth, I cry to you for help when my heart is overwhelmed.
Lead me to the towering rock of safety,
for you are my safe refuge,
a fortress where my enemies cannot reach me.
Let me live forever in your sanctuary,
safe beneath the shelter of your wings!
For you have heard my vows, O God. You have given me an inheritance
reserved for those who fear your name.
Psalm 61:1-5
Peace be with you my friend.