Her face drew me,
Once beautiful, now lined with years of toil.
Her eyes were weary with an unmasked sadness that captivated me. Resignation and hopelessness cloaked her every step.
As she walked down my isle in the baseball stadium, I couldn’t take my eyes off her. Looking for a glimmer, a smile, some sort of expression to run across her countenance as she descended,
But nothing, her face remained blank.
As she asked patrons to purchase small bags of roasted nuts from her blue plastic bowl, her voice was almost too quiet in all the din–whether it was from shyness or a brokenness inside I do not know.
I felt compelled to interact with her, at least purchase her wares and give her one of my smiles since she seemed to have lost her own.
Her lanyard said “Maria”, and despite her dark skin, belied the mixed heritage of many Dominicans who were conquered by the Spanish centuries ago.
I smiled and turned on the charm, but soon realized she didn’t know what I was saying. Though when I asked to take a picture with her, she understood and acted flattered. The corners of her mouth turned up slightly, I wouldn’t call it a smile but it was a change at least.
However, when I looked at the picture I saw the shuttered look had fallen into place again.
Sadness is an emotion most of us hide well.
Only our closest family or friends are privy to the facts, sometimes we even hold it tightly from them. At work and church we tend to fake it the most as we answer to the inquiries over and over, “Great!”, “Fine.”
The mask we wear has the corners of our mouth turned up but sometimes the light doesn’t quite reach our eyes.
So what to do? We don’t want to share our angst with the world, but we do have a choice in how we deal with our troubles.
We can wallow in the sadness
Or lash out,
Or choose to focus on the good around us.
It doesn’t take the sadness away, but helps us realize that good still abounds amidst the pain.
James 1:2 says, “Consider it joy when you face various trials, for the testing of your faith produces endurance.”
Trials can be devastating, gut-wrenching, terrible, horrible and no-good.
But as I wait for my promised strength to kick in, the endurance that says, “See, you made it, and it didn’t kill you…“, I look out my rental window at the blue-black winged crows chasing each other through the pines and the gentle swaying of the trees. Slowly the sun illuminates the mountain pink as it chases away the darkness…
And I find joy in the beauty before me
And I know I can face another day
With peace in my soul
And I feel better.
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-Take time to notice each day and write down the things of beauty God surrounded you with this week.