All I spy are hot pink toenails on swollen feet, spilling out over glittery sky-high sandals. But stuck beside her, I overhear every syllable of the cringe-worthy conversation.
“Hey babe, your flight on time?”
“So far so good!”
“Can’t wait to see you. I got somethin’ for you.”
“A surprise! Really? Pleeeze tell me what ya got.”
“Baby, I’m not tellin’— you gotta wait.”
“You gonna give me a hint or somethin? The suspense is killin’ me.”
“Nope, but hurry home, I miss you. You know I love you.”
I know, I love you too baby. But I’m dyin’ to know…”
Overhearing this conversation would normally make me smile at the sweet profession of love. But this one has me snickering with a hand over my mouth and wide eyes of unbelief.
On and on it goes as she begs and wheedles. I don’t know if he ever gives in. For his sake, I hope he doesn’t since everyone can hear the conversation on her speakerphone—booming from the airport bathroom stall.
He would be mortified if he knew his whole convo blasted across the toilet rows for the entertainment of all. But I wonder, can he not hear the flushing?
When were you last mortified? When you thought you had hung up the phone before you griped about the customer service? When you walked down the office hall, and someone pointed out the toilet paper streamer stuck to your shoe? When you realized you called your new acquaintance by the wrong name three times while chatting with them? Busted.
And are we not mortified when we lay open and exposed as frauds? We excel at cover-ups—the Sunday morning smiles, the “I’m fine” mantra. When in truth, something like duct tape keeps us from falling apart. Hidden deep beneath a perfect facade at the best of times, we are complete messes when exposed to the world at our worst.
But you know the great thing? God can make something of us despite our messes. He overlooks our faux pas and patiently shows us we are no embarrassment to him. He understands our human foibles because He created us. He will mold us and lead us if we allow ourselves to let go and trust in his wisdom and his grace—and in time, our mortifications will fade in the distance. (I remember the toilet paper on my shoe incident vividly, but I no longer remember where I was or who saw it.)
The Psalms spill front to back with trials and disappointments, rescues and rejoicing. David, who fills page after page with these sentiments, never gives up on God. And God never gives up on him.
Plunged into an adulterous affair with Bathsheba, He creates a huge mess in his life. Yet, he hunted for God because he knew what kind of creator rules our world. He believed heart and soul that his God would forgive and restore him.
We may not be embroiled in an affair, but we may be stressed and too busy, or easily lured into gossip or lies. We may be more prone to angry outbursts than fountains of love and kindness. And those closest to us take the brunt of our messy outpourings, sometimes even on “speakerphone” like the bathroom stall debacle.
But God knows our hearts and longs to comfort and heal us.
Pray this prayer of David with me:
Hurry God, I am a mess, but you’ve got what it takes to make me whole. Please fix me.
“But all who are hunting for you—oh, let them sing and be happy.
Let those who know what you’re all about
tell the world you’re great and not quitting.
And me? I’m a mess.
I’m nothing and have nothing: make something of me.
You can do it; you’ve got what it takes—but God, don’t put it off.”
Psalm 40:16-17 MSG